The saga....

[author's note: prepare for a written tirade of gigantic proportions. No worries, there's some fun stuff at the end, if you can make it all the way through.]

with T-Com continues.

(Turbo writes, "Tip to novice bloggers: Using people's names in your blog posts often helps draw their attention to them." Not sure how much using T-Com's name will help, but being a novice blogger, I'll give it a try!!)

I've mentioned T-Com already - they're the largest provider of landline phone services here in Germany. I've also mentioned that I've struggled with getting my internet set up through their T-Online branch. To summarize: I was signed up by my relocation consultant at the end of July. To be exact, the paperwork I (eventually) received was dated July 28th. The first problem was that I only received a form with my phone number and nothing else. So my relo consultant called T-Com and was told that everything else had been returned by the Post because my name wasn't on the mailbox. She told them that she personally had seen my name on the mailbox and asked them to resend everything. So the next thing I got was a box of hardware (modem, cables) and a CD. That was on August 19th. But when I plugged it in, the DSL connection indicator light was red. Hmm. So I emailed my relo consultant and asked her to check in with T-Com again. Well, she was on vacation (like the rest of the country) so I ended up (yes, after procrastinating for a few days - hey, you know how fun it is to deal with utility companies in your mother tongue....try doing it in a foreign language!) calling T-Com myself. I requested that they send me my original contract (which I had never received, although they had managed to send me a bill by this time - for services which I, to this point, couldn't even use!). The representative agreed to send me the contract, but said she couldn't help me with T-Online, I would have to call them directly. So I called the one other number I could find on my paperwork (to this point, I hadn't actually received anything from T-Online, everything came from T-Com). But that turned out to be the department that ships stuff out. She offered to provide the number to T-Online, but when I called it, it was actually the T-Com number (again). So, I had to wait until I came home to look up T-Online's number. While doing so, I noticed that you can email them and get a response 24/7. Fantastic, right? (Avoid mistake-laden telephone conversation!!) So I did. And the guy wrote me back something about signing up for Internet access. So I thought I must have explained myself poorly in the email - I didn't want to sign up, I wanted to get my user name and password to access the internet that I was already signed up for. So I wrote him back, telling him something along those lines. He wrote back that, no, I was signed up with T-Com for a landline, but I wasn't signed up with T-Online for internet access (something's missing here, because I actually exchanged three sets of emails with them, but you get the idea). What? So then I decided I really needed to consult my relo consultant, because it can't be that she had signed me up for DSL without internet access (isn't that even possible?? Apparently so with T-Online!). She said she had in fact requested internet access (why else would I need the stupid hardware?). So she came by my office and we called T-Com together. And then they told us to call T-Online. But then we pressed some wrong key in the utterly confusing menu and ended up back at T-Com, where the Rep told us to call T-Online. So we called T-Online again. And sure enough, whoever had processed the order had not requested internet access (how clever!). They apologized, very, very briefly, and offered to sign me up for internet access at a reduced rate from what they had originally offered at the end of July (note that they're now offering the reduced rate as standard in the month of September). Then they said we had to call T-Rechnung (Billing - how many subsets can they have??) to get the bill adjusted as I'm paying monthly for hardward that I'm unable to use. We called there and she said she would credit my bill - to which my relo consultant replied "Your words to God's ear," which she later said was very unpolite of her by German standards, but she was almost as frustrated as I am. T-Online said it would take 3-5 business days to process the request. Hmm again. I subsequently received a bunch of mail from them, one being a letter which said that my internet would be turned on as of September 12th (the calls we made were on September 5th, so nothing like pushing the 3-5 days to the outer limit!!). So, today being September 12th and finally having received my access information, I turned on the modem. But the DSL light is still red. So, I reread the installation instructions. And it turns out, I'm missing a piece of hardware. It's called a Splitter (in both German and English). I don't know what it does, but apparently it's required (I didn't need one in Michigan). But it's not in the box of hardware. Okay, I thought, you must have to buy it at the store. So I went to Media Markt (think Best Buy). And walked up and down the aisle(s) a couple of times. And found.....no splitters. So I asked, which I HATE doing (even in the States). And the guy was like, "Lady, that has to come from T-Online." And I was like "Guy, it didn't." And he was like "Well, I don't have any splitters here." And I was like "I have only had problems with T-Com/Online/whatever. I'm so done with them." And he was like "[Oh, poor distressed female foreigner], there is a guy here in our store who works for them" Me: "Where???" (Side note: this conversation was much more polite than I've written it, because we were both using the formal address as we were speaking and I've definitely dramatized the interaction.) So he takes me to the T-Com guy and tells the guy that I didn't get a splitter, to which the T-Com guy asks me a bazillion questions, tells me that pretty much can't be that I didn't get it and when I reiterate that it is in fact true (sad, but true nonetheless), he says I have to talk to T-Online (are we seeing a theme here??). And so the guy says I should go to my local T-Punkt (T-Point). Me: Where is that?
Him: Well, there must be one in your area, where do you live?
Me: Feuerbach (Media Markt is also in Feuerbach).
Him: Hmm, well don't you know where your local T-Punkt is?

Dude, I'm glad I know how to get to work, where my bank is and where to buy food and where to buy supplies for the cats. I even know where to buy aspirin for the headache this drama is giving me. But I have NO idea where my local T-Punkt is. Well, he doesn't know (even though he works for them), because he only moved here from Munich two weeks ago.
Me: (Felt like saying "and you're point is what? Isn't it your job to know?", but instead said) I'm from America.

Well, I guess that won the whole "I came here from farther away than you contest", because he forgave me for not knowing where my T-Punkt is (or he just gave up on trying to force me to admit that I wasn't serious, of course I knew where my T-Punkt is, because everyone knows where their local T-Punkt is - NOT!!). And then he proceeds to ask the guy who works for Media Markt selling phone service of all kinds. And I have to repeatedly assure guy #2 that I have received the router already, the access data already (finally!) and the Splitter is the only thing missing. The general conclusion is that this is just not possible, but I'll have to visit my T-Punkt to resolve it.
Me: (Okay, fine) WHERE is that?
By this time, the T-Com guy (not a German) has patted my arm like a million times, which was driving me insane (touching doesn't help and I just don't appreciate having my personal space invaded). They still don't answer, but somehow guy #2 brings up that T-Com has fabulous service. I reply that I can't comment on their internet service, as I still haven't been able to access the internet, but that they have terrible customer service based on my experience. Well, that fired him right up. And so he said "I shouldn't do this, because it's really your task, but I'm going to call them for you..."
Excuse me, it's my task? And who asked you to call them? Not me! I just asked for you to tell me the location of "my" T-Punkt. But hey, whatever floats your boat....So he calls and get's someone like almost right away (average wait time is 4 minutes by T-Com guy's own admission). He tells them that he has an American customer standing here telling him how horrible and awful T-Com is and he wants to show her that they're not (he literally said that!!). He tells them my name - pronouncing it as an American would, to which the T-Com guy said in German "Oh, you can speak American!!" :o)
Well, it turns out they send the splitter separately when they sign you up for internet access (which they did on September 5th), but somehow they never told me that (but I felt slightly vindicated that guy #1 and guy #2 now knew that I hadn't just overlooked it in the box of hardware of something). The splitter was sent out on the 8th and so I should have received it by now and it hasn't come back to them. But just to appease me, they'll request that a second one be sent and it should go out tomorrow, so I'll probably end up with two. Guy #2 gets off the phone and is like "See how easy that was?" And the T-Com guy (#1) starts singing the praises of telephone guy (#2) whilst patting my arm: "See how wonderfully the Spanish guy can solve the American woman's problem?" I was thinking "Huh??????" and "Yikes!!!!!!" at the same time (I'm not sure if he was really Spanish...his German wasn't accented at all!!). So I said thanks and left (running). Sure, it's easy to make a phone call. But this is the eighth phone call, no, ninth phone call that has been placed to T-whatever to establish my landline and DSL. When is enough enough? And when will I actually be connected? And why am I not receiving my mail??

That last question is perhaps the most concerning one. Why am I getting some mail and not other mail? Today I was at the bank, because after requesting a new card to replace my demagnetized ATM card on August 28th, the new one still hasn't arrived. The bank guy confirmed that it was sent out and I should have had it at least a week ago. And it hasn't been returned to them as undeliverable, nor has the pin #. YIKES!! I checked my bank balance and it's correct, but.....So he cancelled the card and requested that a new one be sent to them, at which point they will call me to pick it up.

I should probably call my car insurance company tomorrow and see if the lack of mail from them is also due to a problem with the post, huh? Because if I get pulled over by the policeman and still don't have an insurance card to show him, he might not accept the "Sorry, my mailman doesn't like to deliver my mail to me" excuse, right?

A piece of mail I did receive was a letter from the government of my wonderful host country, requesting that I register my radios and TV. Yep, that's right, you have to register your radios and TVs here, including your car radio. And you have to pay a monthly fee for them. So, one TV, one radio alarm clock and one car radio are going to cost me a total of 28 Euro per month (or about $35) not based on volume of usage, but simply because I own them. Super, huh?

[author's note: end of said tirade. thanks for reading.]

(On a lighter note) the attempted replacement of the baby socks was not completely successful. The butterfly has become a played-with toy, but the baby socks are still carried from room to room. (Mac couldn't really care less about toys overall and Cheese is currently playing with a perfectly normal sponge ball. At least I hope it's a ball, 'cause it's moving, but I am NOT going to check......)

Speaking of my cats, I've created a monster, who's name is Jemma. Background: She likes people food and cat treats. (The boys don't.) And since she's so little, I don't feel bad giving it to her. Well, she LOVES my cereal (which, by the way, I eat for dinner as well as breakfast on a regular basis). So, I occasionally give her pieces of cereal. Well, now she thinks that whenever I'm eating, she should be able to have some of whatever it is. She stands on her back legs with her front paws on my leg. When I don't immediately provide her with a morsel, she prods my arm with one of her paws. I tell her repeatedly that she's not getting any and eventually she'll wander off.....Maybe she's actually a dog in a cat's body??

Well, that's that for tonight.

Oh, except, fair warning, Mom, the birthday posting will be occurring in approximately 45 hours from this very moment.....